Why people pros shouldn’t care for others before they care for themselves

Hey, HR pros. We see you working hard to take care of your employees—but when was the last time you took care of yourself?

People pros shouldn’t have to make personal sacrifices to do their jobs. Otherwise, they may end up like Annie, a character in Jana Casale’s 2022 book How to Fall Out of Love Madly. She excels in her HR job, and her boss compliments her work ethic, but she doesn’t give herself as much TLC as she gives her employees. Instead, she exhibits self-destructive habits, like doom scrolling on social media and neglecting daily exercise.

Sarah Katherine Schmidt has worked as a recruiter and a people pro since 2010. In that time, she said she’s seen a “creeping departure” from HR pros prioritizing themselves. People leaders’ greatest strengths are often empathy and emotional intelligence—and they can also be their greatest weaknesses, Schmidt told HR Brew.

“We are servant leaders, which means we will put everyone in front of ourselves. It is the absolute hardest thing sometimes…to put ourselves first,” she said.

While most HR pros (95%) are proud of their jobs, nearly half (47%) admit their well-being and mental health are negatively affected by the work, according to a Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) survey published earlier this year.

Schmidt, the VP of customer experience at performance software company Peoplelogic, shared with HR Brew how people pros can avoid ending up like Annie.

Say what you need. While helping others is a natural part of the job, Schmidt said people pros should allow themselves more mental and physical space throughout the workday so they can process how they feel and identify what they need.

“We all need to carve out time for ourselves to explore,” she said, suggesting to ask yourself why you’re feeling a certain way, or what’s causing your lack of energy, or lack of engagement. “If we notice these pieces about ourselves that don’t quite feel right, we need to take the time to explore that a little bit more.”

In that spirit, Schmidt said she goes on walks, takes yoga classes, and bakes, but all HR pros need to find the activities that best serve them and allow them space to check in with themselves.

“When you get really good about tuning in, you start becoming very aware of when you’re potentially reaching that stage of burnout,” she added. “Are you sleeping? Are you having enough water? Are you feeding your body good nutrition? It’s not even about, ‘Am I working out every day?’ It’s, ‘Am I meeting my basic needs?’”

Reap what you’re sowing. HR pros help employees find the benefits and resources they need when they’re going through tough times, but they tend not to do the same for themselves, Schmidt said.

“What I have often seen and experienced, I’m guilty of it…I will work for a company that offers unlimited PTO, that has the Calm app, has [a] BetterHelp subscription, [and] I am the first one to not use that but encourage everyone else [to],” she said. “It’s important for HR and people operations professionals to actually leverage those benefits for themselves, so that they can be champions for the adoption within the broader workforce.”

Schmidt said it can be helpful when company leadership promotes benefits and resources. If they’re built into the company culture, HR pros will be more likely to use them.

“Me taking time for myself fills me up, so that I can show up for everyone else, but I have to show up for myself first,” she said. “It almost takes, unfortunately, getting burnt out, and being in that place of truly having an empty bucket, to recognize and build back up what you need for your own reserves, so that you can go be there for people.”