Ask a Resourceful Human: Are my coworkers trying to kill me?

Welcome to our regular HR advice column, Ask a Resourceful Human. Here to answer all of your burning questions is Erin Grau, the co-founder and chief operating officer of Charter, a media and services company that aims to transform the workplace. Erin has over 15 years of experience at the intersection of talent and operations in global organizations and startups, including The New York Times and Away. You can sign up for the free Charter newsletter about the future of work here.

This week’s question comes from a reader who’s just trying to make it through the day without going into anaphylactic shock. Got a question related to HR or work in general? Let us know at [email protected]. Anonymity is assured.

I’m an HR professional, recently joining the HR department at a new company. I’m also highly allergic (anaphylactic) to peanuts and tree nuts. I have informed my colleagues about my allergies since Day 1. They seemed to understand, but at the same time, they keep eating peanuts and tree nuts every day in the office, touching equipment in conference rooms and keep forgetting about it. I’m trying to cope, but I wanted to ask if there is another way I can create some boundaries because I’m always on alert mode.

Thank you for your time!

Best regards,

A faithful reader of yours

Faithful reader, I’m frustrated for you. Instead of offering up the observation that your colleagues are disrespectful jerks, I’m going to assume that they don’t understand that your allergy could be life-threatening. I appreciate that you are trying to create boundaries to protect yourself, but you need and deserve the help and support of your co-workers, both as humans and as HR professionals.

My daughters, like most school-aged kids these days, have learned a lot about nut allergies thanks to their friends and teachers. Like schools, our workplaces have an obligation to keep us safe. To help me answer your question, I went to the foremost expert in my home: my 5-year-old daughter, Frankie, who thought her friend at school was named “Kai-no-nuts” for months because he had a severe nut allergy:

Me: Are there kids in your class with nut allergies?

Frankie: Yes.

Me: What happens if your friends with peanut allergies accidentally eat or even go near a peanut?

Frankie: They sneeze, and their faces get puffy.

Me: So they get really sick?

Frankie: Yeah.

Me: So what do you do to take care of your friends with nut allergies?

Frankie: I wouldn’t eat nuts near them.

So, needless to say, if my 5-year-old gets it, your colleagues can, too.

My daughter’s school does such a great job keeping kids with allergies safe, so I’m going to share how my daughter’s teacher handled an allergy in her class this year in hopes that it serves as a good framework for you:

1. Policy. Before the start of the school year, the teacher sent an email to all parents letting us know that a student in class has a food allergy. Included in the email is:
   1. Information about the allergy. In my daughter’s classroom, it was a peanut and tree-nut allergy, like yours.
   2. The classroom policy in response to the allergy: No nuts for snacks or lunches, and for shared birthday treats, they must be purchased from a store with an ingredient label that confirms they are nut free.
   3. A list of foods they call “offenders”— food items that are not permitted—along with a list of alternatives. Peanut butter, for example, is on the “offenders” list; the alternative provided is sunflower butter.
   4. Resources to educate parents about the allergy.
2. Education. At the start of school, they educate the kids about the allergy, too.
3. Action plan. Each classroom has an allergen action plan, just in case someone with an allergy is exposed.
4. Ongoing communication. They include regular reminders about the policy throughout the year in other classroom communications.

Of course, these are young kids, so a lot is different from your situation. Like, for example, your coworkers shouldn’t need help making their lunches, washing their hands, or spelling “anaphylaxis.” And they shouldn’t need to be told twice that a severe allergy like yours could be deadly.

Let me know how it goes.—EG

Got a question related to HR or work in general? Let us know at [email protected]. Anonymity is assured.